Things that make my head hurt:
- Fire truck sounds – why, why must you be so loud?! We can hear you. We won’t mistake you for the ice cream truck. We will swerve out of your way.
- People who talk really loud on their cell phones in public places. I’m sorry you had to get that procedure done, but my life was a lot better off not knowing the details.
- The latest Meera Lollywood scandal. Drumroll please…
- Oh no jaani no, I work for people day and night for poor people!
Let’s backtrack for those of you blissfully unaware of this story. On Friday, an arrest warrant was issued against Meera, a popular Pakistani actress [i.e., Lollywood] who was accused by her alleged husband of theft and intimidation. The first information report [FIR] filed by Attiqur Rehman asserts that he married Meera on September 2, 2007. The Daily Times, in its coverage, added:
He said he spent most of his time abroad due to business and could not see her very often. He said he returned to Pakistan on August 28 and went to his house in the Defence Housing Authority (DHA), only to find Meera, her mother Shafqat Begum, her father Sarwar, her brother Ahsan, her brother-in-law Raheel and her uncle Abbas attempting to steal items from the house, including furniture and a generator. When he tried to stop them, he added, they threatened him and escaped with all his possessions.
They made off with the furniture and the generator?! I hate when that happens! According to Meera, though, this is not only a lie but also a conspiracy. On Tuesday, Dawn reported that the actress has requested Punjab’s Chief Minister Shahbaz Sharif to provide her security, claiming that Attiq was not her husband but merely her business partner and a “terrorist” who “attacked her house, threatening to abduct and kill her,” [Funnily enough, this isn't the first time Meera has claimed that terrorists are after her.]
The story will undoubtedly continue to play out like a bad Lollywood film, much to the chagrin of those of us who follow actual news. But, a few things are on Attiqur Rehman’s side. First, police say they attained Meera and his nikah document [marriage license], proving the two are married. And, if that doesn’t convince you, then the hilarious video detailing the scorned lovebirds’ email exchange will [Skip to 30 seconds in, thanks Sana]:
Oh Meera, you’re such a “layer.”
This is so funny. It should go on GEO News, our very own National Inquirer (who break the news first).
Meera’s a skank anyways. I would only trust her as far as I can throw her.
ahhaha!! she is big layer very big layer. But no jani no she is lovely person. Also the caption is so mine too!!! I can almost hear her saying ‘no jani no’ and the last bit that said noooooooo I heard!. I till you kalsoom u write well
This is what Lollywood has been reduced to. Such a shame…
While there are no second thoughts on how clever Meera can be in getting what she wants, I doubt Mr. Attiqur Rehman is any ‘innocent lamb’ himself. The whole issue is apparently getting more coverage than they could have ever imagined! All that is left is now to leak (read: release) a steamy video of them together and then claim royalty in a bid to be the desi Paris Hilton!
*chuckles*
Meera for breijdent!
These emails are extremely painful. Where did you find this?!?! Great laugh on a slow morning. NO JAANI NO!
Apparently, the video’s been making the rounds, but all thanks goes to Sana who passed it along to me via twitter when I was writing this post! It’s classic!
‘at the rate’ hotmail.com….
….this cracks me up so much and I can’t really say why!
Hey Max… This is a desi thing… we like to say it completely…
this is how you find out whether the call center guy is desi or not…
[...] phones in public places. Dude. I’m sorry you had to get that […] Read more at: CHUP! – Changing Up Pakistan abbas, arrest warrant, backtrack, business partner, chief minister, conspiracy, dawn, defence [...]
Brilliant post! I saw this youtube link a few days ago and found it hilarious. Although I feel bad for her, I just can’t stop laughing!!
I love how meera just completely rapes the english language in those e-mails..and don’t skip to 30 seconds!the first thirty seconds is a classic song man!it totally sets the mood for the story..ahahahahahhaha..i remember seeing this on TV a few days ago..and seeing it on youtube it doesn’t seem that real but when you see it on tv you really feel like banging your head against the wall repeatedly.
UPDATE: yesterday I saw an interview with meera on geo about this scandal and she denies everything and keeps talking smack but at the end she gives this gem of a quote, “agar meri shaadi hoi ghee phir sab ke samnay hoi ghi. puree dunya ko patha chalay gah ke meera kee shaadi ho gayee hain. Dunya ke har konay me khabar ponchay ghee ke meera kee shaadi ho gayee hain.” HAHAHAHAHAHHAH
For those who don’t understand urdu she basically says that everyone will know when she is married and every corner in the whole world will know that meera is getting married.
HAHAHHAHAHAHA so delusional..reality check: no one outside of pakistan and that one b-movie production house in Bombay knows who the hell you are! ..shes kinda cute though.
no jaani no is my new favorite!
the use of likhe jo khatt tujhe at the start of the video is hysterical…
Duffer…
does her tshirt say TRY KISS ME AGAIN?!
Yes, yes it does. She makes making fun of her SO EASY! *As I gleefully clap my hands together*
haaaaaahahaha.. this brightened up my monday morning! I love the emotion this reporter put into reading those emails. noo jaani noo!
Can I be a party pooper? Although the validity of her claims is questionable and she is probably ‘guilty’, is it not ‘kinda’ elitist to make fun of her English? I mean, unless you were educated in an English medium school, you would not know how to speak ‘English’…. Ya know, just sayin. But yeah, someone did forward me the youtube clip and had a good laugh but did feel sorry for her.
No, you’re right Shamiela. It’s a little mean to make fun of her English considering she probably wasn’t educated in an English medium school. So, I’m sorry Meera. All in good fun – promise!
Shamiela, I, along with all of my siblings, went to urdu medium schools until college and our household wasn’t too keen on english either and yet we haven’t let others make fun of us despite the fact english is not really our national language or anything. You don’t have to go to KGS or Beaconhouse to learn English, IMHO and you have no excuse for not having learnt it when you become a cricket-star or a movie actor and not certainly when you think the whole world HAS TO know when your bloody-wellness is going to get married. I mean, how stupid can you get than that?
Wow Pakistan has really come a long way! I see this as a sign of development.. We need our very own skanky celeb!
“They made off with the furniture and the generator?! I hate when that happens! ” hahaha
I hope you do know that I LOVED reading the post! Not only are you a savvy political writer, you know how to do the celeb gossip too. TMZ, whatch out!!!!
Thanks Shamiela, I appreciate it. And honestly, I welcome all criticisms as well! (As long as it’s not a personal attack, that is…)
“When u meet your beautiful wife…i mean myself” hahaha. Great post.
She is a big layer. We cant belive her.
Ejaz, you are right, but I still think a cricket player and a ‘lollywood’ film stars are different becasue of the state of pakistani movie industry (which is sad). But I still don’t feel comfortable about making fun of her English. But then again, I feel uncomfortable with any celeb gossipp (or poking fun at their personal lives) so I think I’m just different. I’m the type to even feel sorry for Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan when TMZ and Perez Hilton go nuts over them. That’s is just me
ow, I can’t say much on that feeling sorry for britney, lindsay and perhaps paris hilton now can I? I guess you’re different, then.
But I’d add that there’s no such thing as Personal Life in showbiz and politics which we use interchangeably for the same profession, dont we?
Yes, I am different, and I would not attack politicians on their personal lives either.
I tend to agree with Shamiela. I think it’s more important to be a pro at your work than being a pro at English, unless that’s what your work requires which cricket, for one, does not require.
Latest on this piece of gossip is an indian producer thrown into the mix who meera claims is in cahoots with her hubby(alleged)
Funny but I have to say it reeks of a popularity stunt don’t you think?
Here’s an update! A recorded phone call with Meera and the alleged husband.
hahaha – hilarious!1
but notice how in the video, all the dates of meera’s sending those emails have been remove d- where is the authenticity
Have you heard all of the Meera jokes? They are classics!
You can check out two blog posts on the links below:
http://omarulhaq.wordpress.com/2009/04/30/meera-from-lollywood-ouh/
and
http://supersizeme.wordpress.com/2007/11/13/hamari-pyaari-maasi-meera/
haha.. i love meera. she effortlessly provides so much entertainment. a great asset to the country. note sarcasm.
I JUST noticed Meera’s Tshirt in this picture – It’s awesome! hahahaa
Please stop criticising others, Meera is a talented and good actress and these are her own personal issues with her ex husband, why should we interfere and gossip about these issues. So everyone please bring a change in yourself, the name of this website is CHANGING UP PAKISTAN but still you people cannot be changed. STop