Things that make my head hurt:
- Fire truck sounds – why, why must you be so loud?! We can hear you. We won’t mistake you for the ice cream truck. We will swerve out of your way.
- People who talk really loud on their cell phones in public places. I’m sorry you had to get that procedure done, but my life was a lot better off not knowing the details.
- The latest Meera Lollywood scandal. Drumroll please…
- Oh no jaani no, I work for people day and night for poor people!
Let’s backtrack for those of you blissfully unaware of this story. On Friday, an arrest warrant was issued against Meera, a popular Pakistani actress [i.e., Lollywood] who was accused by her alleged husband of theft and intimidation. The first information report [FIR] filed by Attiqur Rehman asserts that he married Meera on September 2, 2007. The Daily Times, in its coverage, added:
He said he spent most of his time abroad due to business and could not see her very often. He said he returned to Pakistan on August 28 and went to his house in the Defence Housing Authority (DHA), only to find Meera, her mother Shafqat Begum, her father Sarwar, her brother Ahsan, her brother-in-law Raheel and her uncle Abbas attempting to steal items from the house, including furniture and a generator. When he tried to stop them, he added, they threatened him and escaped with all his possessions.
They made off with the furniture and the generator?! I hate when that happens! According to Meera, though, this is not only a lie but also a conspiracy. On Tuesday, Dawn reported that the actress has requested Punjab’s Chief Minister Shahbaz Sharif to provide her security, claiming that Attiq was not her husband but merely her business partner and a “terrorist” who “attacked her house, threatening to abduct and kill her,” [Funnily enough, this isn’t the first time Meera has claimed that terrorists are after her.]
The story will undoubtedly continue to play out like a bad Lollywood film, much to the chagrin of those of us who follow actual news. But, a few things are on Attiqur Rehman’s side. First, police say they attained Meera and his nikah document [marriage license], proving the two are married. And, if that doesn’t convince you, then the hilarious video detailing the scorned lovebirds’ email exchange will [Skip to 30 seconds in, thanks Sana]:
Oh Meera, you’re such a “layer.”
CHUP! - Changing Up Pakistan 